Literacy Jokes Update – November 2014


We’re a sad lot generally… I mean us literacy types more so than the numeracy types.

There’s plenty of jokes that rely on language to be funny, but there’s not many (well… nearly any) jokes about our profession, as such.

And there’s probably a reason for that… I wish I knew what it was.

But there’s another issue. There are hundreds of people, possibly thousands of people, who have something to do with literacy, and desperately want to be funny, or at least lighten up their otherwise dreary teaching existence.

This is rather telling when I look at the statistics for my blog. The top search combination according to my analytics are “Literacy” + “Jokes”.

Not joking…

And the top two posts of all time on my blog are some of my feeble attempts to make up some jokes to fill this void. One has received 2028 page views so far, and the other 498 page view.

I’ve got some new jokes to add actually… Most of them are really bad.

But I’m not apologising. Flame me in the comment section. I can take it. I only try to be funny about once per year.

But first, if you’re wondering where the other jokes are, you can find them here:

Ok… Here’s this year’s crop:

A literacy teacher & a numeracy teacher are both drowning. You can only save one of them. Do you go to lunch or read the paper?

What did the ‪#‎numeracy‬ teacher say at the vampire stocktake? Count Dracula

What does a ‪#‎literacy‬ ‪#‎language‬ & ‪#‎numeracy‬ professional’s wife ask her husband when she can’t get to sleep? “Tell me about your day dear.”

What happens when you lock a wild hyena in a room with a ‪#‎literacy‬ education specialist? The hyena stops laughing.

How many ‪#‎literacy‬ specialists does it take to change a lightbulb? not sure 4 out of 3 literacy specialists can’t reason statistically…

Did you hear about the cannibal ‪#‎literacy‬ teachers’ Christmas party? They toasted their students.

Those same cannibal ‪#‎literacy‬ teachers started a workplace literacy business. Couldn’t get any customers though. Charged an arm & a leg.

I was furious to learn my son was failing his literacy classes, so I stormed into the school and demanded they start teaching him more betterly…

Thanks for tuning in to thisisgraeme and ALEC. Making literacy teachers count since 2007.

Author: Graeme Smith

Education, technology, design. Also making cool stuff...

2 thoughts

  1. Hi Graeme,
    I was going to suggest you keep up your day job (after all stand-up comedy is a tough business), until I got to this one:
    What does a ‪#‎literacy‬ ‪#‎language‬ & ‪#‎numeracy‬ professional’s wife ask her husband when she can’t get to sleep? “Tell me about your day dear.”
    and you got a real laugh out of me, on the second reading (call me slow).
    Sadly, it’s rather to close to the bone for me personally, the Park Ranger in my life routinely falls asleep to my evening dissertations on statistically significant gains and the massive embedding potential within farm training. We have now negotiated an agreement whereby if he feels I am ‘going on’ about literacy and numeracy education at dinner parties and boring people to death, he kicks me under the table, and I’m supposed to shut up, or change the subject. This strategy is designed to ensure we get invited back for dinner at least 50% of the time. Latest evidence shows that I’ve either become more boring that when first assessed, or I’m a rather disobedient wife, as we haven’t had any invites back in the past 12 months…..

    1. Hahaha… True story for me too…!

      My wife has been known to threaten our kids with reading them my Masters dissertation if they won’t go to sleep.

      There’s a great TED talk with Sir Ken Robinson who starts to make a joke about when – as an education person you’re invited to a dinner party – and then cuts it off with the fact that… well if you work in education you’re probably not invited to dinner parties…

      My parents stopped asking me what I was doing years ago when I’d was studying “Pedagogical Lexicography” at university. Actually, I think everyone did.

      These days I usually tell people I collect information about people for the Government.

      Occupational hazards… Having said that, very happy to take you out to dinner sometime so we can discuss the potential of embedding into farming training and significant gains…

      Cheers, G

Leave a Reply