Literacy experts are not funny when it comes to jokes
We’re a sad lot generally… I mean us literacy types more so than the numeracy types.
There’s plenty of jokes that rely on language to be funny, but there’s not many (well… nearly any) jokes about our profession, as such.
And there’s probably a reason for that…
I wish I knew what it was.
The fact that you just combined the search terms “literacy” and “jokes” is quite funny
But there’s another issue.
There are hundreds of people, possibly thousands of people, who have something to do with literacy, and desperately want to be funny, or at least lighten up their otherwise dreary teaching existence.
This is rather telling when I look at the statistics for my blog. The top search combination according to my analytics are “Literacy” + “Jokes”.
Why are you even searching for literacy jokes?
And the top two posts of all time on my blog are some of my feeble attempts to make up some jokes to fill this void. One has received 2028 page views so far, and the other 498 page view.
I’ve got some new jokes to add actually… Most of them are really bad.
But I’m not apologising. Flame me in the comment section. I can take it. I only try to be funny about once per year.
Eight more literacy Jokes as promised
A literacy teacher & a numeracy teacher are both drowning. You can only save one of them. Do you go to lunch or read the paper?
What did the numeracy teacher say at the vampire stocktake? Count Dracula
What does a literacy expert’s wife ask her husband when she can’t get to sleep? “Tell me about your day, dear.”
What happens when you lock a wild hyena in a room with a literacy specialist? The hyena stops laughing.
How many literacy specialists does it take to change a lightbulb? I’m not sure as 4 out of 3 literacy specialists can’t reason statistically…
Did you hear about the cannibal literacy teachers’ Christmas party? They toasted their students.
Those same cannibal literacy teachers started a workplace literacy business. Couldn’t get any customers though. They charged an arm and a leg.
I was furious to learn my son was failing his literacy classes, so I stormed into the school and demanded they start teaching him more betterly…
Where is the other funny stuff?
But first, if you’re wondering where the other jokes are, you can find them here:
- Jokes about literacy and numeracy: Or why I’d rather be a numeracy person
- Jokes about literacy update (it’s numeracy… not [cough] nemeracy
- Literacy jokes update February 2013
- Jokes on literacy specialists
- Literacy jokes update – another lightbulb joke
Thanks for tuning in to thisisgraeme. We’ve been making literacy teachers count since 2007.
Instead of looking up literacy jokes you should get my ebooks
Check them out below
Literacy & Numeracy – It’s Not Rocket Science
Learn the fundamentals of literacy and numeracy with Graeme Smith
Discover how to be more successful in your teaching journey. I’ll introduce and explain some of the fundamentals of adult literacy and numeracy.
Once you’ve finished reading, you will have a better understanding of the basics including how to integrate or embed literacy and numeracy into your teaching. This includes with technical and vocational education. You can read more here.
Now bundled wth two free printable resources – a place value chart and hundreds grid.
CHECK OUT LITERACY AND NUMERACY: IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE BY GRAEME SMITH
Click the link below to find out more about Literacy and Numeracy: It’s Not Rocket Science.
The Educator Entrepreneur – Don’t Bring a Whiteboard Marker to a Knife Fight
Learn how to think like an Entrepreneur with Graeme Smith
Education is a tough business to work in. And that’s true regardless of whether you are a teacher, a trainer or any kind of specialist educator. But what if you’re a business owner AS WELL…!
If you’re like me, most days you’re probably pretty excited about what you do. But some days… Some days I can’t understand why anyone would want to work in education. But I learned to survive and thrive and you can too. Teach yourself a lesson and start thinking like an entrepreneur. Read more here
CHECK OUT THE EDUCATOR ENTREPRENEUR – DON’T BRING A WHITEBOARD MAKER TO A KNIFE FIGHT BY GRAEME SMITH
Click the link below to find out more about The Educator Entrepreneur – Don’t Bring a Whiteboard Marker to a Knife Fight
What is Learner-Centred Teaching – 12 Concepts from Te Ao Māori You Should Embrace to Create Learning Success
Discover time-honoured approaches to learner-centred teaching
What if I told you that there were time-honoured approaches to teaching and learning you can use to create the conditions for learning success. Imagine if your teaching really connected with your learners… What if your classroom or training environment was a place where your learners felt like they belonged and wanted to learn?
Here’s a secret. It’s totally possible if you discover and embrace time-honoured concepts from Te Ao Māori – the Māori world. This book is for you if you want to teach or train in a way that is more learner-centred or if you want to learn to think in a more holistic way. Read more here
CHECK OUT WHAT IS LEARNER-CENTRED TEACHING? 12 CONCEPTS FROM TE AO MĀORI YOU SHOULD EMBRACE TO CREATE LEARNING SUCCESS BY GRAEME SMITH
Click the link below to find out more about What is Learner-Centred? 12 Concepts from Te Ao Māori You Should Embrace to Create Learning Success
Three Simple Approaches You Need for Learner-Centred Teaching
Find out more about three of the fundamentals of adult teaching
Have you ever thought about how to improve your teaching? Have you ever wondered what it takes to create learner success in any teaching environment? Well, you need three things. Make that four things… You need to:
- Understand what people mean when they talk about “learner-centred” teaching.
- Know how to leverage your learners’ prior knowledge.
- Have simple ways of increasing the motivation of your students.
- Know what learner agency is and how to develop it.
Read more here.
CHECK OUT THREE SIMPLE APPROACHES YOU NEED FOR LEARNER-CENTRED TEACHING BY GRAEME SMITH
Click the link below to find out more about Three Simple Approaches You Need for Learner Centred Teaching – Proven Ways to Use Prior Knowledge, Increase Motivation and Develop Learner Agency to Pave the Road to Learning Success
I was going to suggest you keep up your day job (after all stand-up comedy is a tough business), until I got to this one:
What does a #literacy #language & #numeracy professional’s wife ask her husband when she can’t get to sleep? “Tell me about your day dear.”
and you got a real laugh out of me, on the second reading (call me slow).
Sadly, it’s rather to close to the bone for me personally, the Park Ranger in my life routinely falls asleep to my evening dissertations on statistically significant gains and the massive embedding potential within farm training. We have now negotiated an agreement whereby if he feels I am ‘going on’ about literacy and numeracy education at dinner parties and boring people to death, he kicks me under the table, and I’m supposed to shut up, or change the subject. This strategy is designed to ensure we get invited back for dinner at least 50% of the time. Latest evidence shows that I’ve either become more boring that when first assessed, or I’m a rather disobedient wife, as we haven’t had any invites back in the past 12 months…..
Hahaha… True story for me too…!
My wife has been known to threaten our kids with reading them my Masters dissertation if they won’t go to sleep.
There’s a great TED talk with Sir Ken Robinson who starts to make a joke about when – as an education person you’re invited to a dinner party – and then cuts it off with the fact that… well if you work in education you’re probably not invited to dinner parties…
My parents stopped asking me what I was doing years ago when I’d was studying “Pedagogical Lexicography” at university. Actually, I think everyone did.
These days I usually tell people I collect information about people for the Government.
Occupational hazards… Having said that, very happy to take you out to dinner sometime so we can discuss the potential of embedding into farming training and significant gains…